Dirk Johan Koene / ArticlesArticles

I want to examine in this article my journey as a self-taught artist; my why and my how.

Foreword

The main task of artists is, of course, to try to overthrow the academy. At least, that has always seemed to me to be the challenge. Nowadays, several years after graduating from such an academy, I find myself teetering between myself and society: on the one hand, I want to create work I stand behind as an artist and with which I can say "see, I told you so!" to the doubters - on the other hand, I also want to have a roof over my head. Additionally, in the distance, a maze of institutions appears. The landlord and the tax authorities are breathing down my neck, and I am not yet where I want to be with myself and my work.

After the academy

When I finished studying and needed to enter the workforce, I dreamed of an icy cold winter with no end in sight. "Your summer is over, you'll be working now!". I landed a job as a programmer, despite the artistic ambitions I so confidently proclaimed at parties just months earlier. “What a disaster," sighed my younger self.

Now, four years later, I see that there is also a lot of happiness hidden inside. I was abruptly and painfully pulled out of my imagination and thrown into society. That is an experience I recommend to every artist. Besides that reality check it gave me time to orient myself and figure out what I actually wanted, and additionally, it forced me to think about the reality of my wishes; “no plan survives contact with the enemy” as the saying goes.

After my working day, I invariably picked up the brush every day. The setbacks from the office had to be overcome at home in oil paint on canvas. I painted and painted. The knowledge I had about form from the digital three-dimensional world of gaming that I knew had to be rearranged until it fit onto a two-dimensional surface.

In that creative violence, I realized that art and the artist do not come into their own in a vacuum. The latter must be well aware of this if they want to grow beyond the walls of their home. I believe this is one of the major obstacles for the autodidact: finding support. Making paintings as an act is one thing, but to find an artist within your identity is essential if you have the biggest artistic plans. 

First steps

It took me a while before I found something. I initially signed up for a local art society, but my work wasn't good enough yet. For a moment, I thought my chance had passed. Eventually, I found an art group in Utrecht, Atelier Stok, where I attended figure drawing sessions. They also organised a portrait group; I had found my footing.

For a while, I was therefore present there twice a week; for figure drawing and portrait painting. With a fellow artist I met there, who was a bit older, I quickly organized a small exhibition of our drawings, which surprisingly was quite successful.

However, I still made my paintings at home. My apartment consisted half of canvases, an easel, and brushes everywhere. The white walls were now decorated with a fine mist of speckles. Slowly but surely, I started to identify with a hermit crab – it was high time for a real studio.

Seek and you shall find

Even the search for a studio was anything but quick. There is very little available, and the city produces a lot of artists, which quickly drives up the cost of a workspace. But I had made good inroads and my mini-network at Atelier Stok paid off; after a few months of searching, emailing, and dreaming, I received the keys to my spot in the former Pieterbaancentrum. An actual studio — I could with certainty call myself an artist. I no longer had to doubt my ambition.

In my studio I work seriously: I receive people who come to sit for a portrait, I do studies and I have space to leave paintings for a while. The psychological effect is also important for me: in that space I truly feel like an artist and this is very important to me. 

I, artist

The distinction between the terms ‘artist’ and ‘owner of an art practice’ is important. The first is someone who creates art, the second is an entrepreneur. It is necessary to be able to play both roles and to find your own balance between them. Personally, I am still busy developing my art practice, while I already feel more confident as an artist. I am in the process of finding other entrepreneurs to collaborate with. Approaching galleries and restaurants is incredibly exciting, but contributes to a solid foundation for the art practice. Additionally, I try to write about my work and ideas to make my artistry concrete and to explore it further. I recently started publishing these writings on my website.

En fin

What I would like to share with other aspiring artists, with or without training, is mainly to shape your artistry in the physical world around you. Look at what is possible in your area, talk to people, and set goals for yourself. Don’t expect too much too quickly, but latch onto a goal and don’t let go. I started my story with grand words; but it aligns with my final advice: take your artistry very seriously – if you don’t, others won’t either. Feel free to think and speak big; let your art be a celebration of your vision. People will also be critical, and you may become your own harshest critic. All of this can and must be overcome. If you want to stand out from the crowd, you must be able to take criticism. Get used to it now, you artist.